#g-d humbled me but why did it have to hurt so bad g-d. i'm just a little guy... i'm just Your little guy (lighthearted)

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I was dreading Yom Kippur for a while, but honestly, it has been so healing and I didn't think that was what I'd be feeling.

In the time between my fears about Yom Kippur and today, I've (maybe) had an intense mixed episode for the past few weeks and today is the first day I feel... somewhat normal. And spending this time with everyone, admitting to each other and to g-d that we missed the mark last year, that we are human has been really intense.

I'm emotionally exhausted, but when my fist is against my chest, when we're singing about our faults... It doesn't hurt as badly. It's this idea that, no, I'm not some demon because we all have done these sins and we're all pleading to g-d for atonement as equals is just... It's something I never really consider to be true.

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

x. eden boy

in which i am the villain.

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've?) - buzzcocks

- you spurn my natural emotions / you make me feel like dirt and i'm hurt / and if i start a commotion / i run the risk of losing you and that's worse

handsome devil - the smiths

- i crack the whip / and you skip / but you deserve it / you deserve it, deserve it, deserve it / a boy in the bush / is worth two in the hand / i think i can help you get through your exams

why bother? - weezer

- why bother? / it's gonna hurt me / it's gonna kill when you desert me / this happened to me twice before / it won't happen to me anymore

wild world - yusuf / cat stevens

- now that i've lost everything to you / you say you want to start something new / and it's breaking my heart you're leaving / baby i'm grieving / but if you want to leave, take good care / hope you have a lot of nice things to wear / but then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

from eden - hozier

- honey, you're familiar / like my mirror years ago / idealism sits in prison / chivalry fell on his sword / innocence died screaming / honey, ask me, i should know / i slithered here from eden / just to sit outside your door

combat baby - metric

- i want to be wrong, but / no one here wants to fight me, like you do / combat baby, come back baby / fight off the lethargy / don't go quietly / combat baby / said you would never give up easy / combat baby, come back

the pros and cons of breathing - fall out boy

- woah, want to hate you half as much as i hate myself / know that i could crush you with my voice / ... / wish that i was as invisible as you make me feel

go your own way - fleetwood mac

- tell me why / everything turned around / packing up, / shacking up is all you want to do / if i could / baby, i'd give you my world / open up / everything's waiting for you

big g-d - florence + the machine

- you keep me up at night / to my messages, you do not reply / you know i still like you the most / the best of the best and the worst of the worst / well, you can never know / the places that i go / i still like you the most / you'll always be my favorite ghost

i'm just your problem - olivia olson

- oh, you don't like that? / or do you just not like me? / sorry i don't treat you like a g-ddess / is that what you want me to do? / sorry i don't treat you like you're perfect / like all your little loyal subjects do / sorry i'm not made of sugar / am i not sweet enough for you?

reelin' in the years - steely dan

- you've been telling me you're a genius since you were seventeen / in all the time i've known you i still don't know what you mean / the weekend at the college didn't turn out like you planned / the things that pass for knowledge i can't understand

think for yourself - the beatles

- i've got a word or two / to say about the things that you do / you're telling all those lies / about the good things we can have if we close our eyes / do what you want to do / and go where you're going to / think for yourself 'cause i won't be there with you

lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off - panic! at the disco

- is it still me that makes you sweat? / am i who you think about in bed / when the lights are dim and your hands are shaking / as you're sliding off your dress? / then think of what you did / and how i hope to g-d he was worth it / when the lights are dim and your heart is racing / as your fingers touch his skin / i've got more wit, a better kiss / a hotter touch, a better fuck / than any boy you'll ever meet / sweetie, you had me / girl, i was it, look past the sweat / a better love deserving of / exchanging body heat in the passenger seat / no, no, no, you know it will always just be me

playing g-d - paramore

- if g-d's the game that you're playing / well, we must get more acquainted / because it has to be so lonely / to be the only one who's holy / it's just my humble opinion / but it's one that i believe in / you don't deserve a point of view / if the only thing you see is you

if i never see your face again - maroon 5

- now you've gone somewhere else, far away / i don't know if i will find you (find you, find you) / but you feel my breath, on your neck / can't believe i'm right behind you (right behind you)

stop me if you think you've heard this one before - the smiths

- i was delayed, i was way-laid / an emergency stop / i smelt the last ten seconds of life / i crashed down on the crossbar / and the pain was enough to make a shy, bald, buddhist reflect / and plan a mass murder / who said i'd lied to her? / oh, who said i'd lied because i never? i never / who said i'd lied because i never?

silver springs - fleetwood mac

- time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me / i know i could've loved you, but you would not let me / i'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you / give me just a chance / you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

[thereluctantinquisitor]

Hi! I'm in love with your fics. If you ever want to fill a prompt, here's one for you: Varlen getting seriously injured while Dorian is out adventuring with the inquisitor, and only finding out after he gets back to Skyhold. It's not life threatening, and it's probably not as bad as it looks, but Dorian is incredibly worried either way.

Probably not quite what you were looking for, but have a little hurt!Varlen and worried!Dorian @chaitea09)

“Welcome back to Skyhold, Inquisitor.”

“Herald! Welcome back!

The chorus from the guards atop the gate left a faint smileon Dorian’s face as he glanced across at Riven, who sat with back straight,head held high. Quite the picture, hethought, nodding to himself. A fineleader in a time rather lacking fine leaders.

As if sensing his gaze, Riven glanced across, blue eyesnarrowing slightly in curiosity. “Is something wrong, Dorian?”

Dorian chuckled, a playful smile spreading across his faceas they crossed the bridge and entered Skyhold. “Why, not at all. You cut quitethe figure these days, Riven. Inquisitor.It is a rather humbling experience. I am not sure how I feel about it.”

He winked, and her expression softened until she let out asoft laugh of her own. “Yes, well… you and I both, it seems. Humbling is afitting word for it.”

They dismounted and stable hands hurried to lead theirmounts to the stables to be cared for. However, after taking only a few steps,another figure hurried up. One of thescouts, Dorian noted with a touch of disdain. The man always seemed vacant.Glassy-eyed. He couldn’t begin to imagine what he might want.

“Ah, Inquisitor? The advisors request your presence in theWar Room.”

Dorian noticed the slight slumping of Riven’s shoulders andhe extended a sympathetic hand, giving her arm a light squeeze. “No rest forthe wicked, yes?”

“It seems not.” Nodding her farewell, Riven turned on herheel and headed for the stairs. It had been a trying journey for them all.Dorian would just be grateful to find his quarters, draw a hot bath, andperhaps share it with…

“… Uh, Ser Pavus?”

“Oh, what is it now?”Dorian hadn’t truly meant to snap, but he was exhausted and conversation with thatmoist towel of a man was not high on his list of priorities. “Go on, spit itout then. I have sand in places sand has no business being.”

The scout flushed, clearly flustered before the curt mage. “I-I-I,ah, it’s just, I was asked by the Inquisitor’s brother to give you a message.”

Dorian stared at the scout. The scout stared back with thosevacant, watery eyes. After a few seconds, Dorian rolled his. “Oh please. Pray tell.”

“He’s in the infirmary.”

Varlen nearly leapt out of his skin when the door to his roomwas thrown violently open and, in a burst of crackling energy, Dorian thunderedinto the room. He looked a mixture of worried and furious, but as Varlen wincedhe hesitated, clenching his fists and forcing himself to calm. “You wouldthink,” he began through gritted teeth, “that in a place such as this… someone would have made note of whatroom you were in.”

For a moment, Varlen just stared. “You… didn’t make thatkind of entrance every time, did you?”

A wry smile twisted the corner of Dorian’s mouth. “Oh, onlythe last five or so.” He sighed, reaching up, running a hand over his face ashe closed the door behind him. “Amatus, what happened? Are you well?”

Shamefaced, Varlen just shrugged, glancing down at his lap. “Yeah… well,you see, I was ah… training, and oneof the recruits just happened to—”

“Amatus.”

“… I was taking a nap up a tree and fell out.”

Dorian stared at Varlen. Varlen stared at his hands, fingers fidgeting nervously on his lap. “Well,” the mage began eventually, walking to the side ofthe bed and settling down at its edge, “that… is something. Did you hu—”

“I’m sorry, Dorian,” Varlen said suddenly, the wordsbubbling up alongside the threat of tears. “I didn’t mean to! I just… I don’t know. I do stupid shit and make everything harder for everyone and it’s no wonder I g-get left behind and nobody trusts me to do anything and I j-j-just…”

Varlen had no idea why he was crying. It was so silly. But there he was, sniffling andsobbing, somehow unable to stop. Dorian, too, seemedalarmed by the turn of events, and he reached out, wrapping Varlen’s face inhis hands, his touch tense with alarm. “Amatus, what’s wrong? Tell me, are you in pain?”

Still sobbing, Varlen shook his head vehemently and immediately regretted it as the world swam. Dorian frowned, athoughtful look crossing his handsome features, eyes searching Varlen’s face. Creators, he was so handsome. Varlen didn’t deserve someone likeDorian, who would stay with him even if he started wailing and choking on tears for no apparent reason.

“What happened when you fell, Varlen? Can you remember for me?”

Despite his majestic transformation into a blubbering mess,Varlen managed to choke out an answer. “I… h-h-hit my h-head…”

That handsome frown pulled even deeper and Dorian shiftedthe placement of his hands, sliding them gently back into Varlen’s hair. Atfirst, Varlen thought it was a sweet attempt to calm him down, and perhaps it still was,but then he felt those careful fingers feeling along his scalp, probingtentatively. “Did you tell the healers?” Dorian asked, his voice utterlycalm, his expression one of concentration mixed with concern. Sniffling,Varlen shook his head.

“D-Didn’t seem all that bad… I just—aAH! Ow - Dorian!”

“Apologies,” the mage said hastily, easing off as Varlen startedcrying all over again; huge, hiccuping sobs. “Well, that settles it. I believe you have a concussion,amatus. Nasty blighters, those. Have you been feeling at all irrita—” Dorianpaused, then snorted gently, his mouth easing into a fond smile as he wiped histhumb across Varlen’s tear-stained cheek. “Ah… never mind. It’s allright. You’ll be fine. I’m here. Come…”

Nodding and blubbering, Varlen just tipped forward andburied his head in Dorian’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around the man andsobbing into his coat. He had no idea why he couldn’t stop – he didn’t even feel particularly sad or hurt aside from the headache building behind his eyes. Whatever it was, it was overwhelming, like he had all these tears and nowhere to put them. So, with Dorian at his side, Varlen just letthem rush out, hard and fast, until finally there was nothing left togive. All the while, Dorian held him close, making gentle noises and rubbingsmall circles into his back.

“There… feel better?” Dorian asked gently when the sobbingfinally subsided. Face still buried, Varlen just nodded, sniffing andshuddering occasionally as he fought the far weaker urge to start all over.

“W… What’s wrong with me, Dorian?”

“Head injuries are… tricky things, amatus. It appears thatwhatever was on your mind simply got the better of you. For a time. Not to worry; theworst seems to have passed. But…” Dorian leaned back slightly, reaching down to hook twofingers gently beneath Varlen’s chin, tilting his face upwards. Grey eyes searched teary blue for a moment, then Dorian’s expression softened. “Is there something on your mind? Something we should…?”

“No,” Varlen said eventually, sitting up on his own andrubbing his stinging, red-rimmed eyes. “No, there’s… I’m okay, Dorian. I think I justmissed you. Apparently I knocked myself out a little–”

“A little?”

“–when I fell, and lying here I just startedthinking about…” Varlen shook his head, biting his lower lip as it started totremble again. Sensing the precariousness of the moment, Dorian shushed himsoftly and pulled him into another warm embrace.

“Come now, amatus, no more of that. Everything is fine. I’m not mad, and you are not a burden. Accidents… well, they happen, yes? But… do promise me something.”

Nodding, feeling far more reassured, Varlen exhaled a long, calming breath. “Of course. Anything.”

“Maker’s breath, nap on the ground.”